Correcting mistakes: Watchmojo com
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: One of the jobs all human beings share is to call out bullshit. There are a great many channels and shows on the internet full of it. One in particular is the vs. shows done by Watchmojo .com on YouTube and their own website. This is basically me calling out their bullshit and making the actual fights they make stupidly for your entertainment,


"Who needs Superpowers when you're rich?" The voice over of the show said.

"I don't know, superpowers would still be pretty handy. Pretty sure Batman's said that more than once." I criticized.

"Welcome to and today we'll be pitting DC's Bruce Wayne against Marvel's Tony Stark to see which billionaire superhero is more super than the other." The voice guy continued.

"Meh. Batman has more ridiculous gadgets, but the Iron Man suit puts Tony on a higher league. Batman would have a hard time messing that up." I speculated.

They then played this clip from Batman begins. "Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat CLEARLY has issues." Bruce Wayne said after being asked about Batman.

"Right you are." I said. They then introduced the first point of discussion: Origins and motivation. "Wait, WHAT?! How is their origin story going to decide who beats who? What are you gonna do, Bats? Explain your sob story and try to make Tony cry?" I criticized again.

"Powers are one thing, but a hero needs a compelling origin to give weight to his journey." The voice guy started.

"No he doesn't, no one cares about Batman's origin, they just care that he has a bunch of insane gadgets that would be ridiculous and inconcievable in real life and he beats the shit out of criminals." I criticized again, then turned to the 4th wall. "Yes, I'm always like this. I nitpick and tear apart everything. Very few people enjoy watching movies with me. Even my own family hates it when I do that." I said before continuing to watch.

"For Bruce Wayne, witnessing the murder of his parents in cold blood instilled him with the desire to protect others from a similar fate."

"Yeah, that's unfortunate, but at this point, no one cares anymore."

"Thus, e took on the guise of his greatest personal fear in order to instill fear in others."

"I think there's a few more things people could be more afraid of than bats. Seriously, you're not gonna scare me with BATS. I like bats, they eat the mosquitoes and other annoying bugs around my house."

They then played a clip from Batman Forever. "I would use its image to strike terror into the hearts of those who did evil. I would ensure what happened to me would never happen to anyone else again." Bruce explained.

"Well, people are still getting murdered left and right in Gotham, so you're not quite there yet. Keep trying, Bruce." I threw in.

"Tony Stark on the other hand was content to live lavishly off his dad's armament business until he was held captive in a cave and realized his weapons were indeed used for terror." The voice guy explained.

"Yeah, that's kind of a serious bitch-slap when the people your weapons are designed to be used against get their hands on them." I said.

"In the aftermath of his kidnapping, he decided to go suit-crazy and focused his business to fight evil."

"And yet several other people somehow found out how to make and design his stuff with just a couple blueprints. Really gotta work on covering your tracks there, Tony." I threw in.

They then showed this clip from the first Iron Man movie. "I thought you said you were done making weapons..." Pepper said as she saw Tony using the start of his repulsor on his right arm.

"I am. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless." He said as it powered up and blasted him off his feet.

"Apparently not so much..." I said bluntly.

"While we dig Tony's change of heart, Bruce going batty over childhood trauma is a much more compelling origin and motivation." The voice guy said, giving Bruce one point over Tony.

"Origin still doesn't make him better or worse than Tony. Seriously, why are you looking at the pointless shit?" I criticized again.

"It's just something I have to do." Bruce said in a clip from the 1989 Batman.

"Why?" Some blond chick I don't know who she is asked.

"Because nobody else will." He said.

"Because you live in the most scum-filled, corrupted and dangerous cities in America and people don't wanna get shot. Seriously, I'm amazed people even LIVE in Gotham. You ask me if I even want to go there for a visit, I'll laugh in your face and send you to a mental hospital. 'Hey, this crazy bastard wanted to go to Gotham City!' 'What?! Oh, someone get him in a straight jacket, he's a danger to himself and EVERYONE around him.'" I played out a small scene.

"Round 2: Lifestyle and Residence." The announcer continued.

"Motherfucker, WHAT?! What does where they live have to do with anything?! Both of there houses have been shown to be pretty easily destroyed, that's not gonna come into play in a fight. It's not like they'll launch full-scale assaults on each other's homes." I criticized again, shaking my head. "Even Super Power Beat Downs is better than this." I said, before turning to the 4th wall. "And no, they won't be escaping my target line any time soon. Look for a correcting Mistakes for them soon, too."

"Tony Stark's ego is constantly getting in the way, continuing to live the life of luxury despite outing himself as Iron Man." The announcer continued.

"Well, both things get him laid pretty easily, so jackpot for him."

"While hanging out at his extremely exposed hillside mansion and tower."

"Yeah, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to give a terrorist his home address."

"How does it look?" Pepper asked over Tony's communications in his suit as he looked at the tower in The Avengers.

"Like Christmas, but with more... me."

"Yeah, but he does a good job of putting his ego aside when shit goes down." I threw in, turning to the 4th wall again. "By the way, it should be pretty obvious by now who is who, so if you don't know who's talking when I don't say it after the quotations, you're beyond my help."

"Bruce similarly lives up to his playboy lifestyle, but uses that as a cover for his true dealings."

"Yeah, it'd be a little harder to stay alive if the scum of Gotham knew who you were and could get to you easily enough."

"He actually keeps his identity a secret and keeps all his toys in a secret cave in his more SECLUDED mansion."

"Yeah, but people still find out who he is easily enough and don't seem to have much of a problem destroying his home or cave."

"While Tony's inability to separate work and play are... interesting and his digs are super cool, we gotta give this one to Bruce-y. The man knows how to play the game without dipping too far into the realm of douchebag. Unlike his Marvel counterpart."

"Yeah, but Tony is cool when he does it, when Bruce needs to be a douchebag, everyone STICKS him with the label of douchebag."

They then showed a clip from Iron Man 2 where Tony and Happy are sitting down and Happy takes a note someone tried to hand to Tony. "He doesn't like to be handed things." He explained.

"Yeah, I have a peeve." Tony agreed.

"Sorry, Tony, this point goes to Bruce." The announcer said, giving Tony another point.

"Yeah, but I don't think it's worth that much giving a point for something pointless."

"Round 3: Gadgets and suits."

"Well, it's about gods-damned time! Finally, something IMPORTANT. Bruce isn't beating Tony by comparing how much better or worse his life is..."

"Batman's costume has changed WILDLY over the years-"

"And it took 30 years before he actually put on a GOOD suit."

"So has Tony Starks, coming a long way since its introduction-"

"But his suit has been blocking bullets since the Mark I. Batman still has to rely on NOT getting shot. I think the Dark Knight proved that pretty well."

"While Batman's got armor that can withstand steep falls and bullets-"

"That second one to a MUCH lesser extent."

"Stark's suit is LITERALLY fit for fighting gods."

"Yeah, Thor didn't hurt him, just gave him more power."

"Power at 400% capacity." Jarvis said after Thor blasted Tony with lightning in The Avengers.

"How about that?" Tony said before blasting Thor.

"Sure, the bat suit has a utility belt AND wings, but the Iron Man suit is literally packed from head-to-toe with gadgets, including an A.I butler."

"Yeah, Batman has to wait around for Alfred or Barbara, Jarvis is pretty much instantaneous. Oh and the Iron Man suit is better designed for HURTING and KILLING, not just stunning people."

"That's the coolest thing I've ever seen." Rhodey said as he watched Tony put on the suit in the first Iron Man movie.

"Not bad, huh?" Tony asked.

"I'm torn between wanting to get this over with faster and just writing how the fight would go and wanting to further destroy this shows credibility. Decisions, decisions..."

"The Batsuit is made to intimidate and thus gains points for both form and function, but it arguably only stands up under the cover of night. Iron Man is always badass, especially with the built-in scowl. Tony gets this point." The announcer said, giving Tony his first point.

"I'd give it a bonus point for actually getting a point for something that isn't useless."

"Round 4: Skills and Intelligence."

"Okay, I guess it was a good idea not to jump to my own version of the fight."

"This one's a toughie. Both men built their superhero identities without much outside assistance-"

"Unless you take into account Batman was trained by a giant clan of assassins. I'm pretty sure that counts as outside assistance."

"And both are absolute geniuses and CEO's of successful tech companies-"

"Yeah, but Bruce just has to fake it, Tony actually does shit for his company."

"Tony Stark is called the mechanic for a reason, capable of building pretty much anything FROM anything. In terms of sheer IQ points, Tony pulls way ahead. Heck, the guy even created a new element."

"Yeah, Bruce just gets all of his stuff from Morgan Freeman."

"Congratulations, sir. You have created a new element." Jarvis said in a clip from Iron Man 2.

"However, Bruce is a ninja, a quick learner with great general knowledge and the comic world's greatest detective-"

"Yeah, but Tony isn't far behind and can hack into any world database for extra info. And this video was made before Iron Man 3 before Tony was badass without the suit."

"So let's put it this way: if both men were left without their resources and forced to overcome a dire challenge, Bruce would be moderately better equipped to prevail."

"Again, this video was made before Iron Man 3. They need to remake this video and take that into account. He built a goddamn taser glove with a gardening glove, wires and some batteries. And grenades from who knows what."

"This point goes to Bruce Wayne for being a modern day Sherlock Holmes." The announcer said, giving Bruce another point.

"I'd call that more of a half-point for both."

"Round 5: entourage."

"And we're back to the useless shit! I knew was more useless credibility I could weaken!"

"Here it is, the final category-"

"You would've been better off with just suits, gadgets, skills and intelligence."

"No man is an island, no matter how isolated they make themselves-"

"And Alfred's been wiping Bruce's ass from day one. Tony's been a little more independent."

"Supporting Tony is his pal Lt. Col. Rhodes, who transforms into War machine-"

"Who only shows up at the last minute and does significantly less important stuff."

"Secretary turned girlfriend, Pepper Pots-"

"Who also does very few important things. I think Tony holds this one over Bruce though, since Bats doesn't HAVE a girlfriend."

"And his A.I butler Jarvis-"

"Arguably the only important person for Tony as Iron Man."

"Or just butler if you're a comic purist."

"No one cares about comic purists."

"Bruce on the other hand has Robin, several versions thereof-"

"All who are under-aged boys in short shorts. Seriously, it's weird."

"His faithful butler Alfred-"

"Who quit in The Dark Knight Rises."

"His friend in uniform, Commissioner Gordon-"

"Who almost never does anything."

"And his personal lab tech, Lucius Fox-"

"Otherwise known as Morgan Freeman. Also, Tony doesn't NEED a lab-tech."

"As side characters, Batman's entourage have become inseparable parts of the Batman mythos and thus help to flush out the character as a whole-"

"Which Tony basically does for himself."

"While Tony's help is handy, Bruce has more support at home than Tony-"

"Which basically says Bruce NEEDS more help at home than Tony. How is this even remotely helpful? What, is Pepper gonna get in a slap-fight with Alfredy? Rhodes gonna force Gordon to stand down or something? I literally cannot drag this show's credibility through the dirt more than I already have."

"Who (Tony) pretty much relies on tech-"

"And Batman DOESN'T? Seriously, all of his victories require some form of gadget to help him. And once again, this suggests Bruce needs more help than Tony, I think it's clear who gets this point."

"This point... goes to Bruce Wayne." The announcer said, giving Bruce his final point.

"... You're fucking kidding. Man, I'm gonna have a hell of a time when I have to sit through this for Peter vs. Homer and Hawkeye vs. Green Arrow."

"You still haven't given up on me?" Bruce asked Alfred after being rescued from his burning mansion.

"Never." Alfred replies softly.

"Looking at it from just this clip, this could be seen as a bit of a gay moment."

"With a score of 4-to-1, Bruce Wayne takes this one, proving to be the more versatile hero behind the mask."

"If you choose to look at the most pointless shit they have, then yes."

"Agree with our result?"

"Hell no!"

"No!" Harvey Dent said in the clip from The Dark Knight when his face was in the oil.

"Which heroic billionaire did you root for?"

"The one with less useless points."

"For more entertaining showdowns, be sure to subscribe to ."

"I'll be sure NOT to do that." Okay, destroying credibility out of the way, now let's get to what would ACTUALLY happen."

The real fight that isn't ridiculous...

"Alright, boys! Hurry up and load up the cargo! We need to get movin' before ol' Stark can figure out where we are!" Penguin ordered as his men were loading up weaponizeable Stark technology onto a truck he could sell to the highest buyer. Batman watched from the shadows and was about to act, but suddenly the roof was blown up and Iron Man flew into the warehouse, blasting several of Penguin's thugs with his repulsors. They panicked and open fired at him, but th bullets merely bounced off of him.

"Really? You'd think people would learn by now. Guess they have to learn the hard way." Tony said as he readied the miniguns on his suits arms and mowing the thugs down. Once they were all taken down, Tony landed in front of Penguin, who had dropped onto his knees in fear.

"Please! Don't hurt me!" Penguin pleaded fearfully.

However, Tony merely grabbed him the the collar of his jacket and held him up to face him. "You should've thought about that before you took my stuff." He said, blasting Penguin through the chest with the unibeam.

Batman scowled at this and emerged from the shadows. "He may have been criminal scum, but he didn't deserve that." He said.

Iron Man turned to see Batman at that point. "Like I just said, I have a little bit of an issue when people take my stuff without asking." He said.

"That's no excuse. You're coming with me." Batman said.

"Yeah, sure, that's gonna happen." Tony said sarcastically.

**Background music: "Shoot to Thrill" by AC/DC**

Batman growled and flung a number of batarangs at Iron Man, who blasted them out of the air with his repulsors, blasting Batman back along with them. Batman grunted, but quickly recovered, getting back to his feet in a second. He threw a smoke bomb at Iron Man's feet, blinding him and rushing in. As Iron Man had no way to defend against the smoke bombs, he was helpless to do anything but look around as Batman rushed in and unleashed a quick combo on him, shaking him, but was unable to do any serious damage to him inside or to his suit. Batman growled at this and attached an explosive batarang to Iron Man's chest, blasting both of them back to opposite end of the courtroom. Batman skidded to a stop, slightly bumping into a stack of crates behind him, bringing him to a complete stop as Iron Man, having taken the worst of the blast, was knocked to his back and skidded across the ground to a stop after a few feet.

"Sir, the target appears to have a wide variety of explosives and other weapons he may be able to use against you. I'd advise against indirect combat." Jarvis suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Tony agreed as he got up, flying into the air out of Batman's reach and firing his repulsors at him. Batman managed to dodge them before firing his grapple hook at Iron Man in an attempt to pull him down, but Tony caught the hook and managed to pull it away from him before firing a wrist-mounted missile at him. It didn't hit him directly, but he still took massive damage and was blasted back into the wall of the warehouse. He struggled into a kneeling position as Iron Man landed in front of him and aimed all his weapons at him. "So, what's it gonna be?" Tony asked. Batman growled at this and reached behind him for more smoke pellets, getting ready to throw them, but thanks to Jarvis and his armor's movement detection system, he already knew what Batman was planning to do, putting his weapons away and landing one single punch to Batman's face, knocking him out. "Not one of the best ideas you could've come up with." He said, then turned towards the cargo of stolen Stark technology and destroyed it.

_Reasons for the outcome:_

_1: Iron Man holds nearly every advantage in the actual fight. He's faster, stronger, can fly and likely more strategic. And if not, his suit makes up strategies for him and breaks down the opponent at incredible speeds, revealing their movements and weaknesses to him before they even happen or are shown._

_2: Most of Batman's gadgets would prove ineffective against the Iron Man suit, which brushes off bullets, tank missiles, lasers that can disintegrate regular humans and attacks from Thor. Also, the gadgets Batman has in comics and video games that remotely jam weapons are actually unrealistic and wouldn't really work. You cannot remotely jam missiles and guns._

_3: Without extensive research and preparation beforehand, Batman would have no device that would be incredibly useful against Iron Man, his gadgets being the only thing that would give him a fighting chance in the battle._

_4: Batman may be able to dodge SOME of Iron Man's attacks, but very few, as most of Iron Man's weapons are explosives and automatic weapons Batman stands little chance of avoiding._

_P.S, sorry if you didn't like all the stuff before the fight. I was tearing apart the show and proving why no one should believe them or take it seriously._


End file.
